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In the opening subtitles, the audience is reminded of the bloody carnage that concluded the remake of the first “The Hills Have Eyes”. It is safe to assume that any evidence regarding the mutant slaughtering that was bestowed upon that poor family was dissolved by the heat of the sun. This is so because, in this sequel, a military group has decided to base somewhere near the same place without much precaution. The subtitles claim that they are “monitoring for undisclosed reasons.”
I wander as to what the hell they were monitoring in an abandoned desert; the words “undisclosed reasons” are not reassuring enough, especially in a horror movie, but let’s move on. To no surprise, these people end up disfigured and discombobulated, while one ends up deep in the toilet with a few cuts so he can die of mass infection. Oh no, these mutants, they have developed their own sense of humor.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
The Hills Have Eyes II (2007) Movie Review | Local Movie Review
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Man on Wire Movie Review | Local Movie Review
I look at the movie’s poster and instantly notice a man whose life is dependent upon that thin, almost invisible wire. That man is Philippe Petit, and on August 7, 1974, he was arrested for trespassing. More specifically, he walked, knelt, and danced on a wire he and his friends connected between the Twin Towers. I have a curiosity for extraordinary human feats and a phobia for heights, and the sight of Mr. Petit on that wire was one of the most beautiful and freighting things I have ever seen.
I think that it’s obvious that he succeeded since you cannot arrest a dead man. We all know that what he did was truly remarkable but what confounds many is his reason in doing it. Before I saw “Man on Wire”, I stared at the poster, wondering what type of individual would do this, to risk a life so much that a wrong step could end it. Crazy was the word I thought of that would describe it the best, and then I watched the movie.
Monday, June 27, 2011
The Green Hornet Movie Review | Local Movie Review
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Seth Rogen plays an overly talkative, trash-talking man-child by day, and an overly talkative, trash-talking vigilante by night. The man will not shut up. “The Green Hornet” is less about the comic book character known as the The Green Hornet and more about Rogen’s pretentious and narcissistic love affair with himself. The supporting characters here only function as mere targets for Rogen’s self-glorifying cheap shots.
Think about the role he has prepared for the lovely Cameron Diaz. The woman has a certain charm that only a few actresses posses in Hollywood. Yet, she is only in this film so Rogen’s character can talk about how hot she is. I’m thinking that only someone like Megan Fox could actually feel pride in a pitiful role like this one.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Red Riding Hood Movie Review | Local Movie Review
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So this is what you get when you insert the Twilight characters into a children’s fairy tale. “Red Riding Hood” is a wannabe horror movie starring dumb and lifeless teenagers who are tremendously drunk with hormones. Alcohol may produce better behaviors.
The setting is a medieval village in the woods. A girl named Valerie stands out from the crowd because she wears a bright red cape and because she is played by Amanda Seyfried. Right across her is Peter, the hunky wood chopper. His face appears to be stuck in a state of no emotion. Even when he’s really mad, we can’t feel a single thing. I think it’s a talent.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Big Fish Movie Review | Local Movie Review
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What a magical movie this is. “Big Fish” challenges our faith and imagination with tales that sound too marvelous to be true, too extraordinary to be believable. But the strongest emotions are found between the broken relationship of a dying father and his doubtful son. After years of no communication, they are reunited when human age reaches its fragile state. The son sits on a chair as he observes his weak father, who lies in what could be his deathbed.
Old Edward Bloom (Albert Finney) is a devoted storyteller who believes that true stories could use a little fiction for entertainment purposes. On the day his only son, Will, was born, he was out of town selling home appliances. Not a very exciting story for such a very momentous event. When Will is set to be married, his father shares with everyone the false account of how he caught a really big fish with his wedding ring the same day Will was born. This draws smiles from his listeners, but not from Will, who has heard the same lie repeatedly throughout his life. He walks away. And he doesn’t return until old Edward becomes confined to his bedroom.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Super 8 Movie Review | Local Movie Review
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“Super 8” is a sweet and thoughtful love letter to the art of filmmaking, but its advertisements has cunningly disguised it as a monster-infested thriller. Though elements of a sci-fi movie are found here, “Super 8” shines the most when its settles down for simple storytelling, which has unfortunately become an uncommon service from big-budgeted, modern-day Hollywood.
It is summer break for the students of the small town of Lillian, Ohio, and a pack of youngsters set out to make a zombie movie of their own. The director is a brisk and lively Charles, who commands his cast and crew as if he’s paying them in return for their cooperation. But Charles’ allowance isn’t what these kids want. For Cary, he’s just awaiting for the opportunity to blow something up with his firecrackers. For Joe and Alice, this project provides a temporary escape from their lives at home. Their dads, whose partners are no longer by their side, are emotionally distant.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
The Other Guys Movie Review | Local Movie Review
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Only in a film by Adam McKay will you see scenes involving cubicle flute-playing, willful self-stabbing, and testicle drum-rubbing portrayed with such passion. And only a man named Will Ferrell will do all these acts just because he can. The Other Guys succeeds in further extending McKay’s and Ferrell’s track record for being the most haphazardly ambitious comedians in Hollywood.
A quarter pound of illegal drugs needs to be recovered, and twelve million dollars worth of property damage later, they are recovered. No thanks are due to New York City’s cockiest detectives Danson and Highsmith, who are uproariously played by Dwayne Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson. But they are not what this movie is about. Living beneath, far beneath their shadows are Allen Gamble and Terry Hoitz.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
The Hangover Part II Movie Review | Local Movie Review
June 11, 2011 By (Edit)
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We’ve been told before to touch not the things that are without fault. Altering that which is already awesome could be a risky act, but repeating it could be even worse, because it shows no diligence and bravery. “The Hangover Part II” resembles its 2009 predecessor so much that it’s probably more appropriate to regard it as a remake, than as a sequel.
The extent of the similarity between the two “Hangover” movies suggests hungry wallets for its makers. When the script is hurried, the shooting will be also. Paychecks are rewarded earlier, and audiences are left to watch a meaner, dirtier, and more offensive version of the same movie. There is a significant increase in violence, coarse language, and public display of privates. To warn viewers that are more sensitive, I would specify which organs to expect, but the setting of the film is Thailand, and if there’s one thing I learned, it’s that we can never be sure of what we see.
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger Movie Review | Local Movie Review
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“You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger” is a comedy for cynics and pessimists. For everybody else, it’s a tragedy. The prologue of the protagonists exposes them as people pummeled with problems and worries. However, I must say that this isn’t a movie about the problems, but the solutions that are stimulated by minds that are stuck in desperation and misery.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
The Expendables Movie Review | Local Movie Review
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Sylvester Stallone. Jason Statham. Jet Li. Mickey Rourke. Terry Crews. Stone Cold Steve Austin. Bruce Willis. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Dear reader, though you would be wrong, it is not ignorant of you to assume that what I am about to review is the latest Old Spice commercial.
The names mentioned above are, in fact, the entire advertising campaign of “The Expendables.” In posters, in trailers, in interviews, that is all you hear mentioned, asked, and promoted. Never before in movie history has there been a bigger opportunity to fabricate the most epic action movie of all time. And never before has there been such a more embarrassing failure to seize such an opportunity.
