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Beneath all the environmental and existential issues that layered the original “Happy Feet” was a subject of equal relevance: the unifying enchantment brought about by music. We were taken to the icy isles of Antarctica, where a kingdom of emperor penguins greeted us with mesmerizing vocal performances worthy of a Santana collaboration. It was established that penguins were naturally gifted singers, so it came as a surprise when one odd little fellow named Mumble couldn’t hit a single note.
No matter. Mumble, it turns out, projects a skill in tap dancing no penguin has ever possessed before. Like Eminem, he was the first of his kind. (Or was it Vanilla Ice?) We felt pleasure seeing and hearing Mumble’s feet produce those catchy beats even though we were pretty sure that it’s implausible to compose those sounds by stomping on ice. His example made it clear, to both us and to his fellow penguins, that music is secluded to no one; it’s a personal celebration that’s best experienced in the company of others. The penguins sang. Mumble danced. We smiled. A Win-Win-Win.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Happy Feet Two Movie Review
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Tower Heist
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“Tower Heist” is a robbery movie like many others. Here is a sub-genre so mindlessly recycled that films within its category are mainly differentiated by the intellectual capacity of its characters. Develop your heroes as smart individuals, and you’ve got a thriller. Gather a group of idiots, and you’re set for a comedy.
The crooks in “Tower Heist” are so hopeless that, to them, the phrase “Like Stealing Candy from a Baby” would be more of a challenge than an idiom. So incompetent are these chumps that they’d fail at conquering a 7-Eleven with a tank. Yet here they are, plotting to rob millions of dollars from a luxury hotel equipped with, and I quote, “the most advanced security systems.” We begin to doubt this claim when we notice nothing beyond the typical surveillance cameras that’s being kept in check by The Preoccupied Security Guard. His watchful eyes beam at the pages of Playboy, instead of the monitors.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2009) Movie Review
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“The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” is an exceptional thriller that supplies just about everything you can expect from its genre: an unsolved crime, a devious villain, a collection of clues, a determined investigator, and a climactic sequence where they all come together. These elements are all aptly done, but our attention is captured by an enigmatic woman whose own vague life can be considered a puzzle that’s more perplexing than the one she occupies.
Her name is Lisbeth Salander (Noomi Rapace). She is a skilled surveillance agent and an ingenious computer hacker. Her face, firm and pierced, rarely reveals any form of emotion. Her dark, gothic look attracts our immediate interest, but even the most analytical of audience members cannot observe beyond her physical appearance. The dragon tattooed on her back, which we get to see once, is open to our interpretations, but that’s about as far our theories can go. She prefers to keep her secrets to herself. Conversations with Lisbeth occur only when necessary, and they usually end quickly. Moments where she secures her isolation are often “celebrated” with a lighting of a cigarette.
Friday, November 11, 2011
The Change-Up Movie Review
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“The Change-Up” is frequently repugnant, occasionally misogynistic, sporadically racist and thoroughly stupid. This is a loathsome movie not because it aims for the lowest form of crass comedy, but because it aims for the lowest form of crass comedy… and misses. Depressingly humorless, the film falls apart at just about the same rapid rate as an Adam Sandler comedy.
“The Change-Up” revisits the drained formula of the Body-Swap movie, where two people of contrasting lives end up within the body of the other, and vice versa. Here, our duo is comprised of hard-working husband, Dave (Jason Bateman), and weed-smoking bachelor, Mitch (Ryan Reynolds). In a night of cursing, fantasizing, and alcoholism, the two head off to the nearest magic fountain to take a piss, one that’s long enough to refill the Fountain of Life. Dave and Mitch wake up the next morning and are distressed to discover a reality similar to the fate of the heroes of “17 Again”, “Freaky Friday”, “The Hot Chick”, etc.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Puss in Boots Movie Review
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“Puss in Boots” is both a spin-off and a prequel that expands the Antonio Banderas character from the “Shrek” films. As a sidekick to Shrek, Puss only stood in the background as a portrait of cuteness. Now, he has taken command of the lead role, seizing its privilege by familiarizing us with his diverse life as a skilled fighter, dedicated lover, and excellent dancer. This is an eager and cheerful animated film that humors its way through its vibrant animation.
“Puss in Boots” remains in the same world that’s occupied by Shrek, where fairy tale characters share the same space and time, where The Gingerbread Man could bump into the Big Bad Wolf, where Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella could talk about the Prince Charming in their lives. It’s a delightful and nostalgic concept, one that’s been forgotten by the last two “Shrek” installments. But Dreamworks has recaptured its essence in “Puss in Boots”, reimagining and merging some fairy tales that have occupied the bedtime stories of our childhood.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
The Thing (1982) Movie Review
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The elusive, amorphous villain in “The Thing” boasts a potent quality long lost in the tradition of post-modern horror movies. Its creature operates in sadistic stealth. It invades the body of its living prey, sucking the life of its unfortunate host from the inside until there is nothing left of him except for his outside physical appearance. Each organism, whether man or animal, who has been victimized by The Thing all have one thing in common: They all ended up as a mere disguise to this intrusive, merciless freak.
The setting is in the barren, icy lands of Antarctica. An American research team is compelled to investigate a Norwegian facility after the remainder of its occupants die in a frantic attempt to assassinate… a dog. Inside the facility, our heroes find that the building has been through what your average C.S.I. would refer to as, “a struggle”. Outside, they discover a cadaver of abnormal shape and size. They notice that it was intentionally set on fire. And based on the empty containers of gasoline near it, whoever ignited the bastard wanted it to burn real good. Because our heroes are a group of curious researchers, they omit the instinctive response of leaving the body alone by bringing it back home with them.
